A letter to an Ex
This letter I am writing just on behalf of me. Please don’t take anything otherwise or in any other sense. Yes we had a past. Yes we did share a mutual world. But in between we forgot that it’s not over yet. Will I ever be able to explain you whatever happened is all a mixture of misunderstandings? People ask, does it cause pain now? Moving on, is it difficult? Do you still feel the same way you did before? And I go speechless.
After so many years of our break up here I am sitting and thinking was all of it worth it. The pain, the sleeplessness, the heartbreak, the misunderstandings and the torcher. Does all of it worth it? We were in love, it wasn’t a joke. We shared a bond, we made promises, and they were not fake? We were a couple, people adored us. We adored each other. Everything wasn’t fake, right? But it seems as a fantasy world that we girls like to create around us to be happy. We dreamt of a future together. We saw everything falling in place. But all of a sudden things changed, you changed. You were not the same.
The sleepless nights, the incredible pain, the taunted days how can they last? In fact its true nothing lasts forever. So happened with our relationship. I tried to explain you didn’t give me a chance. I accepted that no one is free of faults, so wasn’t I. Even after trying you were not ready to accept me. So I left and moved on, actually tried to. But eventually couldn’t. The one thing I regret was not being able to move on and love someone so incredibly that you get hurt so bad that you cannot have faith in the so called three magical words again.
Yes the three magical words that were the power source of our relationship. Relationship, how simple is the word but the way we make it complex is yet not defined. The constraints are yet to be figured. Our relationship broke on many grounds and many levels. Each time I used to collect the shattered pieces of my heart and reassemble them and stand back again to look strong and supportive. I got tired dude. So I quit. This was my simple reason that I wanted to give you.
This never happened and perhaps never will, but I apologize on my part for quitting. But I had no other option. Now tell me do you still want me to make up to you to end the misunderstandings. Tell me do you not feel the way how I do? Do you not try to figure out what exactly went wrong? Tell me why you did not answer my queries before and intend not to answer them in future too? Tell me why did you leave me shattered and scarred? Tell me why you did not called me back to ask whether I am alive or dead? Does it matter to you whether I do survive?
Huh! I am sorry to get too emotional but nothing personal. In the end I just like to say (no offences to anybody) yes I loved you with all my heart and soul and accepted you as the only one in my life. You were my one true love. And I am sure that’s not going to happen again because things change, mentality changes and the perspective changes. Now I am a mature girl. I see life differently. The priorities don’t matter the moments have the value. People come people go only the moments stay. So let go whatever is not yours can’t be yours ever. Still due to some regrets, as a writer I needed to spill them with ink on paper. By the way thank you very much for teaching me to be mature, for giving me an opportunity to explore things in my life. Also to give me an opportunity to express my feelings on paper and an article to write.
Lastly no regrets left, enjoying life fully but with a wish that every sinlge person around me is happy. No intentions to hurt anybody but if also I do or did, I apologize.
One last thing to say never think that people are for granted (hope you know what I mean). Because once you lose the gems you have got just sand left in your hands and most importantly sand doesn’t stay even if your grip is strong. Love is an incredible feeling. Don’t let it go. Cherish it and feel it in every moment you live. You fall in love every single day with everything around you. Just be positive that what you feel is right and it’s the moment that counts.
Ending on a satisfied note….
Yours loving Ex….
…from the diary of a writer