I want to meet myself from so done else’s point of view
“Just look at that shameless, enjoying herself “ an aunt in metro commented on me. And perhaps the reason being, I was travelling with two boys. Her words pinched hard in me and I wanted to revert back that the boys were my brothers. But rather I chose to ignore.
Later in the evening her words were regularly haunting me, and the tone in which she spoke was miserable one as well. With continous thoughts of where i actually went wrong, I went to sleep. Next day, while moving out of the house my mumma reminded me for wearing the duppatta. Because nobody marries “kaali” girls.
Huhhhhh! why it happens. I ask myself always. Just marriges. Why? Is it a mistake to be a girl? Or girls are actually made for kitchen. I don’t know. But if they are made, I don’t want to be one of those. I might not be topper of my class, but I feel good in getting through those colourfull pages. Earning money of my own, is the only wish i ever made.
Why is everybody so intrested that i get married or not. And i heard once that all colours are beautifull then why beaing a dusky such a shame? And yeah hanging out with boys. Who assure me that girls are always better than boys? Why are only girls asked to learn manners to behave in a society. I question. question. and just question. No answers.
I seriously wish to grow up as someone who is not affected by what anyone thinks of her. I want to lead my life on rules of my own. Or rather no rules at all. I want to hangout on my own wishes and live my own dreams. No kitchen, I want to buy house of my own.
Getting married has been a part of my fantacies, but I breathe to conquer the world not my husband. I don’t think anybody out here is strong enough to not to get affected by what other’s think of her. But even its true that at some point of our life, we give up on making other’s happy. Running after their dreams matter more than satisfying other’s thoughts. And the day,
” You stop worring of what others think of you, you achieve a new level of independence. “