Wandering here and there with legs not stiff enough to stand I found a voice that followed me. The call said – walk slow else you will fall’. Maa, you were behind me ever to comfort and support. I remember how many times you deliberately cut your expenses,killed your choices and saved resources for me. You got so many things for me without giving a single thought to your own desires. Forget desires, you cut your needs to fulfill mine. I remember how many times you postponed your MRI just because it was too costly to afford since I am studying abroad. Also because it is easy for you to say- ‘its just a normal headache, let ut be.’
I see how selfish I was to ask money from you in name of educational expenditure, though it was merely for leveling myself parallel to others by dresses, outings and dinners. I gave myself the excuse of peer pressure well deep in I knew, somewhere it was my own wishes hidden deep inside.
You had almost no jewellery cause you sold it all for me. Not judt that, you did cut your food, never bought new cloths, and also ignored your medicines in contrary to which I took medical aid even for sneezing.
I remember the days now and then and feel myself burdened with the sin of ignoring your phone calls without a cause and texting my boy-friend who was not even my boyfriend in the hope of getting his attention
Days went by, I moved forth….but not as a successful person but the one who needs more and more and even more.
It is all over now. I get no phone calls from you, no one is their to call me back home. No one asks me what should I cook since you’re coming back? No one says ‘its ok that you behaved angrily cause I know you’re in pressure’ and lets it go. I remember how you said-‘walk slowly else you will fall’. Mom I ran so fast, overlooked your advice of walking slow and I found I was left behind alone. Waiting with the eyes full of hope of seeing me successful.
You are nowhere now but I acknowledge your presence everywhere. See the irony of life. When you wanted to hug me, I never cared; now when I need a hug, no one cares.
You’re out of my sight mom. You’re more…. I regret why never went slow….😔

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I belongs to the world of gender studies from Tiss and hoping to become a aspiring writer and poet that can make a difference with words to the mankind and humanity. I am ready to find out aesthetic way to observe the unknown world with more surprises and express her passion towards writing.