Shades of white and rays of sunlight
Entered my room and made it bright
Not so delight, its just another frustrating day
With emotions veiled as usual in its way
Once, my parents told me not to talk with unknown men
But now they have made me live among these mad men
Now my home.
Yeah. I have been for years with all my ambitions and emotions cracked and dropped. My surrounding considered me to a person below the required IQ level. They thought I am abnormal to have too many frustrated thoughts at a very young age and that I will not win the “Survival of the Fittest” test that the toys of the God are made to attend in this ball of universe. Yeah, I failed. Out of too much courage, out of too much ambitions, out of too many steps that went unsuccessful, the irritating hashtags that the society awarded me, I failed in my life.
It was a usual day in the asylum where my mates and I work have for sometime followed by our breakfast that no other family would witness. Sitting together in circles, with no mobile phones to interrupt our , with no family problems to argue on, but with smiles, gestures and unnamed languages shared by my diverse mates, irrespective of age and sex.
The ward informed us that we would be provided with special lunch today for a family was going to celebrate their daughter’s third birthday with us. No announcements are special if you are living a lifeless life in asylum. Yeah, it was like that. My life became like that. I neither smiled nor cried. The hardened heart had fell off its part.
There entered a car at the entrance of the gate. A black Audi, the most favourite of mine. If I say this to my ward about my ability to recognize a car’s company, they pat on my back, appreciate me, yet they say that my IQ has gone low and that I am a pycho still. I waited for the family’s presence inside the hall of our asylum. No special eagerness but the sight of a baby girl and her beautiful little steps would obviously put a smile even on the Joker’s face, for I had enormous love towards girl babies.
And all of a sudden, my eagerness broke, when my eyes got stuck on him. The man, my man. The litres of tears that I had saved all these years since I joined this asylum dropped down my cheeks. Annoyed, wounded, ashmed, I turned around. But I could not have control over my eyes, I turned again to see him. He was talking to the ward and the owner of the asylum. I felt my heart dividing into different shapes unable to comprehend what I had just saw.
The love that changed my life. The love that promised me life. The man who knew that I have not really had any enjoyments and tours earlier, the man who promised me to take me around the world, the man who was meant to me married to me to breed a beautiful family with his kid in my womb, had deserted me hearing the society’s biography about my life that I am not mature enough but too ambitious, an outspoken girl, the empowerment icon who is dangerous for a family that people give a black mark for.
I stood there broken seeing him, I saw a woman with him whom I don’t even want to give a relationship status. I know who she is to him. My mates became happier but I burned from inside with lava erupting out in the form of tears. I turned back again, cried and felt something scratching my socks. I turned around, it was not something. It was someone. A tiny creature. That baby girl. She was scratching to call me. I bent down. I looked at her eyes. The same eyes that I used to look. The same eyes that had so much soul. The same eyes that once made me shy. The same eyes. That round face with dimples on her cheeks. Yeah. It was same like those dimples on his face. Those dimples that I had once played with, those dimples that I had poked, those dimple that visibly curved when he smiles despite his beard. Words got blocked underneath my throat. Yet, I tried to talk.
“Whats your name”, I asked
“Jemy”, she blushed.
I stood there dead!